Homeland Security

A federal agency established after 9/11/2001 to carry on the work of the terrorists. They help us fear nature by taking over FEMA and diverting funds that would have been spent on hurricane relief to equip meter maids with assault rifles. Constant reminders to "report suspicious behavior" to the police have made us fear each other and criminalized social anxiety disorder. Thanks to their fine efforts, being too shy to ask a girl for sex is now as likely to get you investigated as asking a girl for sex.